October 8, 2016

3 years later... love and weight stories

Well so many things happened since my last post 3 years ago...
To make it short: I met this amazing man in December 2014...

I got married in June 2015...

And we had a baby in May 2016...

Joshua is almost 5 months old now and he is such a cutie...

Before pregnancy I weighed 81kg (178 pounds) which is a correct weight for me.

I gained up to 15kg (33 pounds) during pregnancy. 

During pregnancy I had gestational diabetes so I stopped sweets which was good but after delivery I enjoyed sweets again. So all together I gained even more weight instead of losing it, even with breastfeeding! Today I weigh 98kg (216 pounds) :(

But there is hope right ? somebody ? 

Breastfeeding makes me SOOO HUNGRY!! So my plan is to slowly (but surely) get back to a healthy life style. Drink enough water, sleep enough, exercise daily and eat more healthy food to reduce my appetite. Being a mum for the first time is stressful so exercise and try to relax is a priority and it should help me to avoid emotional eating. 

I hope to go back to at least 81kg (178 pounds) for Joshua's first birthday in May 2017. 

I am excited to start taking care of myself again, 

More updates soon! 

September 19, 2013

One year of transformation...

I want to deliberately remember the day when one year ago (September 18th, 2012), I stepped on to the scale to weigh myself. As the scale read 98.2 kg my whole being shuddered, I cried, not knowing exactly where to start and what to do... because I thought I had done it all, and none really worked.

Today, September 18th 2013, at 81.0 kg, I feel like a different person. 

I look back and am amazed at my transformation.  I have been able to shed the lies and embrace the truth about how I should take care of myself (as everyone should of themselves), I have moved from disliking to loving myself, from addiction to freedom, from gorging to appreciating food, from sorrow to joy, from inadvertently destroying myself to consciously building myself… to name a few. 

The journey has been remarkable… The key to my transformation was introspection. While trying to understand my behavioral patterns and food habits I realized that I took cover under the pretense of being busy helping others solve their problems, when in reality I was not willing to look at my own.

I discovered the truth that until I started truly loving myself and taking care of myself I was not able to effectively love and take care of another. 

When introspection led to realizations, my priorities changed and I was able to set clear boundaries.  I know life is a journey but with the changes in my thinking and lifestyle I felt like a woman with a clear road map. I knew my destination and thus could avoid the paths that deviated me from arriving at my goal but I was able to be kind to myself even if I took an occasional by-route.  In other words, I was able to calm myself when I did not drop weight or when I gained a few kilos while on vacation.  I had faith and courage.

I felt like my mind and my body were working in synchrony. The clash had ended and they were working in harmony for my good. I started enjoying exercising on a regular basis. I also surprised myself when I trusted my body to be able to take, endure and enjoy challenges. In January 2013 I went on a five-day biking trip and a few weeks ago in September I went on a three-day adventure where I took up physical challenges like canyoning, abseiling and rafting, which I would have been too afraid to do before.  

My strategies in brief:

  • I tapped my social support network.  My buddies respected my boundaries and helped me stay on track.
  • I maintained a journal where I recorded my food intake and weight.
  • I shifted my focus from shedding numbers to loving myself and enjoying the journey of losing weight.
  • I rewarded myself by going for a massage, nice meal, or buying new clothes to celebrate milestones.
  • I maintained a gratitude journal.
  • I visualized what I wanted to be emotionally, physically and spiritually.
  • I started treating myself on purpose. I started taking care of myself even at home as I would a guest (paid attention to detail in preparing and presenting meals, choosing beautiful clothes and accessories).
  • I learned to let go and let God take control of situations.

 It was not an easy journey but it was rewarding and every step was a learning experience.  I also realize that I am still a work in progress.

August 5, 2013

How did I keep up my healthy routine during vacation?

I was a bit worried to leave my daily routine, my kitchen, my juicer, my grinder, my seeds and my gym… I was not sure how I would manage to stick to my healthy eating habits while traveling and enjoying the company of my family and friends.

Food is such an integral part of expressing emotions and love that I knew I was going to be surrounded by food, and I wanted to enjoy good food.  I knew people would be happy to see that I have lost so much weight… and I imagined they might just encourage me to eat what I wanted NOW, just as the DIET mind set teaches us… Yet that is not my point of view...

'I am not depriving myself of food, I simply eat what I want!'

The new me - June 2013

The old me - September 2012

I was very realistic about the difficulties of sticking to my healthy routine as I was going to be out of my locus of control. I thought it will be difficult to eat fresh, nutritious food prepared healthily, make my juices in the morning, drink enough water daily, and exercise during my vacation : 3 weeks in Paris and 3 weeks in Seoul. 

I knew that my family and friends would treat me to delicious meals involving wine and dessert. I knew I was going to be invited over where they would cook  my favorite meals for me. And I was ok with it as long as I did not gain my 17 kg back in 2 months… I actually wondered:

Is it possible to gain 17 kg in 2 months?’

So I planned to try to be careful and to stay in control. I decided that I would enjoy some food that might not necessarily be healthy, during meals. I would be in control of what I knew I had control over such as having 3 meals a day, avoiding snacking in between meals, eating veggies and fruits, drinking enough water and exercising.

Now, after returning to my routine and reflecting on my vacation, the big revelations and surprises are:

1- My body did not want to gain the 17 kg back! Praise the Lord! My body was acclimatized to a particular meal portion and I could not eat more than that. Every time I had a big/heavy meal, I felt like I needed to go on a detox the next day, which I could not do always but I naturally had a healthier next day. 

2- I sought after healthy food and was becoming very creative with food. I was able to still eat and cook healthy. I could easily adapt my cooking and recipes with ingredients I found over there. 

3- In restaurants I picked healthy food from the menu (when it was possible) but did not deprive myself of enjoying dessert, as you can see... ;)

Ile flottante
Gaufres chantilly
Crème brûlée
Korean waffle ^^

4- I loved food but now I have confirmation that I enjoy a different taste, and variety in texture, color, and flavors… I had the perfect wine with a perfect fish dish or steak… 

Foie gras, confit d'oignons

Steak, garlic roasted potatoes

5- My body needed to exercise. I just listened to what I felt. When you eat healthy you have so much energy that you feel like walking, running, dancing, hiking, and just being active! I had no access to a gym in Paris, but I biked, walked instead of taking the bus or subway, took the stairs instead of the lift, I danced and exercised at my place whenever I could.

From the day I left to the day I came back I gained 1.5 kg. 
I did not check my weight at all during vacation :)


I am pretty happy with it. I can't wait to go back to my 
disciplined life style
and keep reaching my goal which is to lose a bit more weight!