I want to
deliberately remember the day when one year ago (September 18th, 2012), I stepped
on to the scale to weigh myself. As the
scale read 98.2 kg my whole being shuddered, I cried, not knowing exactly where
to start and what to do... because I thought I had done it all, and none really
worked.
Today,
September 18th 2013, at 81.0 kg, I feel like a different person.
I look back
and am amazed at my transformation. I
have been able to shed the lies and embrace the truth about how I should take
care of myself (as everyone should of themselves), I have moved from disliking
to loving myself, from addiction to freedom, from gorging to appreciating food,
from sorrow to joy, from inadvertently destroying myself to consciously
building myself… to name a few.
The journey has been remarkable… The key to my transformation was
introspection. While trying to
understand my behavioral patterns and food habits I realized that I took cover
under the pretense of being busy helping others solve their problems, when in
reality I was not willing to look at my own.
I discovered the truth that until I started truly loving myself and
taking care of myself I was not able to effectively love and take care of
another.
When introspection
led to realizations, my priorities changed and I was able to set clear
boundaries. I know life is a journey but
with the changes in my thinking and lifestyle I felt like a woman with a clear
road map. I knew my destination and thus
could avoid the paths that deviated me from arriving at my goal but I was able
to be kind to myself even if I took an occasional by-route. In other words, I was able to calm myself
when I did not drop weight or when I gained a few kilos while on vacation. I had faith and courage.
I felt like
my mind and my body were working in synchrony. The clash had ended and they were working in harmony for my good. I started enjoying exercising on a regular
basis. I also surprised myself when I
trusted my body to be able to take, endure and enjoy challenges. In January 2013 I went on a five-day biking trip
and a few weeks ago in September I went on a three-day adventure where I took
up physical challenges like canyoning, abseiling and rafting, which I would
have been too afraid to do before.
My
strategies in brief:
- I tapped
my social support network. My buddies
respected my boundaries and helped me stay on track.
- I
maintained a journal where I recorded my food intake and weight.
- I
shifted my focus from shedding numbers to loving myself and enjoying the
journey of losing weight.
- I
rewarded myself by going for a massage, nice meal, or buying new clothes to
celebrate milestones.
- I
maintained a gratitude journal.
- I
visualized what I wanted to be emotionally, physically and spiritually.
- I
started treating myself on purpose. I
started taking care of myself even at home as I would a guest (paid attention
to detail in preparing and presenting meals, choosing beautiful clothes and accessories).
- I
learned to let go and let God take control of situations.
It was not
an easy journey but it was rewarding and every step was a learning experience. I also realize that I am still a work in
progress.
