One year of transformation...

I want to deliberately remember the day when one year ago (September 18th, 2012), I stepped on to the scale to weigh myself. As the scale read 98.2 kg my whole being shuddered, I cried, not knowing exactly where to start and what to do... because I thought I had done it all, and none really worked.

Today, September 18th 2013, at 81.0 kg, I feel like a different person. 

I look back and am amazed at my transformation.  I have been able to shed the lies and embrace the truth about how I should take care of myself (as everyone should of themselves), I have moved from disliking to loving myself, from addiction to freedom, from gorging to appreciating food, from sorrow to joy, from inadvertently destroying myself to consciously building myself… to name a few. 

The journey has been remarkable… The key to my transformation was introspection. While trying to understand my behavioral patterns and food habits I realized that I took cover under the pretense of being busy helping others solve their problems, when in reality I was not willing to look at my own.

I discovered the truth that until I started truly loving myself and taking care of myself I was not able to effectively love and take care of another. 

When introspection led to realizations, my priorities changed and I was able to set clear boundaries.  I know life is a journey but with the changes in my thinking and lifestyle I felt like a woman with a clear road map. I knew my destination and thus could avoid the paths that deviated me from arriving at my goal but I was able to be kind to myself even if I took an occasional by-route.  In other words, I was able to calm myself when I did not drop weight or when I gained a few kilos while on vacation.  I had faith and courage.

I felt like my mind and my body were working in synchrony. The clash had ended and they were working in harmony for my good. I started enjoying exercising on a regular basis. I also surprised myself when I trusted my body to be able to take, endure and enjoy challenges. In January 2013 I went on a five-day biking trip and a few weeks ago in September I went on a three-day adventure where I took up physical challenges like canyoning, abseiling and rafting, which I would have been too afraid to do before.  

My strategies in brief:

• I tapped my social support network.  My buddies respected my boundaries and helped me stay on track.
• I maintained a journal where I recorded my food intake and weight.
• I shifted my focus from shedding numbers to loving myself and enjoying the journey of losing weight.
• I rewarded myself by going for a massage, nice meal, or buying new clothes to celebrate milestones.
• I maintained a gratitude journal.
• I visualized what I wanted to be emotionally, physically and spiritually.
• I started treating myself on purpose. I started taking care of myself even at home as I would a guest (paid attention to detail in preparing and presenting meals, choosing beautiful clothes and accessories).
• I learned to let go and let God take control of situations.

 It was not an easy journey but it was rewarding and every step was a learning experience.  I also realize that I am still a work in progress.